Just Because It's Old Doesn't Mean It's No Longer Funny...
To make a multi-page archive more practical, we have decided to start from the beginning and move forward. If you're just trying to see what you missed while on holiday, it will be on the last page. Also, it must have been a pretty long holiday. This site hasn't been updated in years.
26 April, 2011 (Launch Day):
Anyone who doesn't think rape is funny has obviously never seen a Pepe le Pew cartoon.
Trying to cut something from the budget it like having a rattlesnake down your pants. You can't just pull out your gun and shoot it because you don't want to hit something important.
I can't remember why I take ginkgo biloba.
Origin Of The Pirate Cat
This one was a family project. My brother and I worked on the jokes and our father drew it.
DVD commentaries are great. If you can't afford to go to the cinema, just turn on the commentary track and someone will talk during the film right in your home.
Don't laugh at people in wheelchairs. They're not funny. People falling out of wheelchairs? Now, that's funny.
27 April, 2011:
Is Your Penis Too Small?
If so, the right modification to your vehicle can either make up for it or, as in the case of these douchebags, make things worse.
8 May, 2011:
Did I ever tell you about the time I was shot in the face? I kept a positive outlook, though. I said, "It could be worse. I could be watching one of those Twilight films.
Actually, the reason I've been gone so long is natural disasters in my area. The first week, I had no electricity and I thought, "At least, with no power, I can't accidentally watch one of those Twilight films. I mean, unless the actors come over to my place to perform an impromptu production, but that's a good way to get stabbed."
9 May, 2011:
Right click/View image, to see it in 800×600.
11 May, 2011:
I am reminded of the time I was kicked out of a toy store for crediting marijuana for the creation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...
I suppose LSD was just offended that I failed to credit him for his part.
12 May, 2011:
A restaurant around here actually advertised this dessert on the sign near the entrance. I complained when it failed to meet expectations but, rather than reimburse me, they kicked me out for lewd conduct.
13 May, 2011:
That's not what I meant, Apex, when I said, "Put it in me."
16 May, 2011:
Ironic Musings Of The Day:
1. Whoever decided to outlaw drugs must have been high.
2. Why does no one use the word, "literally" literally anymore?
17 May, 2011:
I'd like to know how stupid a person has to be to make this accident possible
18 May, 2011:
"Smart phone" is just a nice way of saying "dumb computer." Apparently these "phones" are smarter than the people who buy them.
19 May, 2011:
Pride Out Of Shame
How did I come up with the name of these sites? Well, let's just say I have a past I'm not particularly proud of.
20 May, 2011:
Tomorrow is the day they're all saying is supposed to be the rapture. I'm really looking forward to all the Christians getting sucked off the face of the earth and leaving us heathens the opportunity to party without them.
23 May, 2011:
Wasn't that rapture supposed to happen this weekend? Well, just like every other apocolypse prophecy, I guess it was wrong. I mean, except for the 2012 one. That one is right. I swear!
24 May, 2011:
When one of the button holes just fell off my shirt, I was first puzzled at how it happened and then at a complete loss regarding how to replace it. (You can right click/view image to get a closer view of the missing hole.)
25 May, 2011:
If pants are plural, and there's only one of them, why is underwear singluar?
26 May, 2011:
The thing is, I may have given them business if they could have just put it on my shoulder.
27 May, 2011:
Today's joke was originally written by Ankh Infinitus. He gave me permission to use it, so I reworded it first.
There is a liar, a hypocrite, and a power-hungry madman sitting at a bar. He says to the bartender, "I think I'm going to run for president in 2012."
28 May, 2011:
A Unique Fortune Cookie
It's unique in the sense that it's the only fortune cookie I've ever seen where adding the words, "In bed" won't make it any dirtier.
30 May, 2011:
Summer Time (Daylight Saving Time in some parts of the world) is an odd time of year when Ra seems to constantly be running an hour late for everything.
31 May, 2011:
Why Is My Work Funny?
Because I refuse to resort to immature bathroom humour while making a joke. I always use the highest quality wit when devising humourous--
Oh, for fuck's sake! I write jokes that are so witty they make entire crowds of people laugh and think and my webmaster decides to post that?
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